Leading a wedding ceremony is an honor, but it’s also a big responsibility. To help you feel confident in your decision, consider asking a trusted friend or family member to undergo the formal process of becoming ordained.
Nondenominational and interfaith celebrants have more flexibility in their ceremonies than religious ones. Here are some of the basic rules they must follow:
The Processional
The processional is the entrance of everyone coming down the aisle at the beginning of the ceremony. This includes the wedding party, parents and any honoured guests who will be escorted by someone. This typically happens while a special song plays.
The bride’s mother usually enters first, escorted by her son or brother. The groom’s parents follow, seated on the right side of the aisle. Next comes the ring bearer(s) and flower girl(s), followed by the best man walking alone. Some couples opt for a two-aisle venue so that both partners can walk in at the same time. This may be especially helpful for same-sex weddings.
The Invocation
At the beginning of the ceremony, the officiant welcomes everyone and begins with an opening prayer. The couple may choose to use specific prayers from their faith or a traditional wedding blessing.
Gracious God, Spirit of Life and Love, we ask all your blessings upon (bride) and (groom). May they be blessed with patience to help them through times of tension or conflict. May they be blessed with kindness to nurture and care for one another. May they be blessed with joy to share the riches of their love with others. And, may they find in each other a partner to make their lives richer, more complete and filled with love.
The Readings
While choosing the perfect vows will be top of mind for most couples during their wedding planning, you’ll also need to decide on a reading or two for your ceremony. While the options can seem limitless, it’s important that you choose a reading that reflects your personality and highlights the key themes of your relationship.
Readings can be anything from scripture, a poem, song lyrics, a book excerpt or even just words of advice. It’s a good idea to give your celebrant a copy of any reading you want recited during the ceremony so they can plan how it will be introduced. Here are some of our favourite readings to get you inspired.
The Exchange of Vows
For most couples, saying their vows is the most intimate moment of their wedding day. These are the words they will recite to each other for the rest of their lives.
Generally, a vow ceremony comes after the OPENING REMARKS, CHARGE, and DECLARATION OF INTENT sections of a traditional ceremony script. Some ceremonies include a RING EXCHANGE before or after the vows, but this is not required for all weddings.
If a couple chooses to write their own personal vows, but aren’t comfortable reading them in front of an audience, I will “feed” the couple their lines for this portion of the ceremony. This is less stressful for them, and allows them to look right into each other’s eyes for the most meaningful part of their ceremony.
The Pronouncing
As a wedding officiant, you only get one chance to deliver a perfect ceremony. And the last thing you want is to mess up the pronouncement, which is when the officiant announces that they’ve officially declared the couple husband and wife, allowing them to finally smooch.
The typical pronouncement goes like this: “I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss!”
But if that’s not what your couple wants, it’s easy to find alternatives that are both beautiful and fun. Plus, it gives your couple a little more room for a big smile as they exchange that first smooch! And they deserve it.
The Recessional
The recessional is the order in which you and your wedding party exit from the ceremony space. Typically, family members follow the bride and groom down the aisle—in a traditional order, the parents come before the maid/matron of honor and best man.
When choosing your recessional song, remember it’s usually not the time for romantic ballads or slow love songs—you want something celebratory and fun! Consider adding a special element to your exit like flower petals for guests to throw or bubbles for them to blow. These will help make for a memorable ceremony exit and kick off the reception! (Check out some of our favorite recessional songs here.